The 'Aha!' Joke

It's been quite an eventful Saturday to say the least: Arsenal beat Aston Villa in the Premier League this afternoon, I got back on the internet today and I had a chat with my cousin Joy.

Late this evening, I stumbled on another joke on the internet and I thought it pretty hilarious:

They were married, but since the argument they had a few days earlier, they hadn't been talking to each other.

Instead, they were giving each other written notes.

One evening he gave her a paper where it said: "Wake me up tomorrow morning at 6 am." The next morning he woke up and saw that it was 9 o'clock.

Naturally he got very angry, but as he turned around he found a note on his pillow saying: "Wake up, it's 6 o'clock!"

So I found a neat joke

I was wandering around the Nigerian web space after spending 4 hours working on a project in the office when I stumbled on this neat little joke.

An employee goes to his boss to discuss his appraisal. Boss starts asking questions:Boss: There are 50 bricks on an airplane. If u drop 1 outside. How many are left? 

Employee: That's easy. There are 49 left. 

Boss: How would you put an elephant into a fridge? 

Employee: Open the fridge. Put the elephant in. Then close the fridge. 

Boss: How would you put a deer into the fridge? 

Employee: Open the fridge. Take the elephant out. Put the deer in. Then close the fridge. 

Boss: It's the lion's birthday. All animals are at the party except one. Who is missing & why? 

Employee: Deer is missing because it is in the fridge. 

Boss: An old woman wants to cross a swamp filled with crocodiles. How will she do it? 

Employee: She just has to cross from 1 side to the other because all the crocodiles are at the lion's birthday party. 

Boss: Last question.The old lady still died while crossing the swamp. How? 

Employee: Err... I guess she drowned? 

Boss: No! She was hit by the brick that fell from the airplane. You may leave.

Hope you found it funny too. If you didn't........LIGHTEN UP!!!!!!!!!!!

Talking Arsenal: The View from London

Been a while, hasn't it? I'm always starting my posts this way so you'd think I shouldn't feel bad anymore but I still do. I won't come here and make any promises anymore, I'd just take things as they come.

That out of the way, I was trying to get myself up to date with the latest happenings in English Football and I stumble on this article about Arsenal being the biggest club in London. Before you say anything, at first I said to myself, "here we go again..." but then after going through the story, I found myself nodding my head in agreement at the end.

The things that struck me the most were the last four paragraphs of that article and I've taken the liberty of lifting them and giving them to you for your reading pleasure:

Under Arsene Wenger, the club completed the 2003-04 league season unbeaten with a side that contained some of the finest players in Thierry Henry, Patrick Vieira and Dennis Bergkamp that English football has ever seen. 

The club have also remained omnipresent in the Champions League and have qualified for the competition a record 17 seasons in succession, despite the financial constraints placed upon them by the move to the magnificent 60,000-seater Emirates Stadium – the second largest club stadium in England.

To gain a measure of Arsenal’s size and following, for the first two years back in Europe’s elite competition the club elected to play their games at Wembley Stadium where crowds of 90,000 flocked to see them play the likes of Barcelona and Dynamo Kiev – a remarkable turnout when you consider Chelsea regularly struggle to fill their Stamford Bridge home for Champions League matches. 

Arsenal’s global reach has increased significantly as a result of their continued presence in the Champions League and commitment to fast, free-flowing football under Wenger. They are the only Premier League club to boast over four million followers on Twitter and 25 million likes on Facebook.

Apart from the jibe at the pensioners, Arsenal's social media standing kind of puts a good perspective on why they've gotten so much flak from almost everybody  over the past half decade or so. I mean, over 29 million people around the world with an opinion on how the club should be run and who should and should not play... I don't envy Arsene Wenger or the next Arsenal manager at all.

That said, I'm looking forward to a better season of football in the 2014/15 Barclays English Premier League Season.

Funny Rules of the World Cup

The biggest football mundial is just around the corner and even though I personally think the World Cup is the most overrated soccer competition in the world today, I can't do anything to stop it.
I'm sure a lot of people have seen this little list going around on the social networks. Here's just my own little version:

Rules for the ladies from the gents:

MEMO: The world cup (WC) is fast approaching and we would like to clarify a few things and set some very simple rules.

1. For the  duration of the World Cup, the remote control (TV and DSTV) shall reside in my pocket and shall be operated only by me.

2. You shall learn all soccer rules prior to the World Cup as questions like, 'why is that guy running on the line waving a checkered flag' will not be tolerated.

3. If you miss the line up please do not ask, 'who is that guy?'

4. There shall be no comments about Cristiano Ronaldo's looks. Professionalism shall remain an absolute part of the World Cup. Football please.

5. We shall watch any soap, reality show, or romantic movie as long as they shoot it on the beaches of Brazil.

6. It's the World Cup and there is no Chelsea or Barcelona. It happens once in four years so don't ask if its the same as the game from last week.

7. I won't be attending weddings, naming ceremonies, etc held by any of your girlfriends during the World Cup.

8. You shall support the teams I support, smile only when my teams are winning and shout goal when it's actually one.

9. Non-soccer conversations shall not be tolerated within regulation, injury, extra time or during penalties.

10. Ronaldo the Brazilian and Ronaldo the Portuguese are not related.

11. Please don't try to find out who's more important between you and any match going on by asking questions during the match ... the match will always win.

12. There is a 6 hour time difference between Rio De Janeiro and Lagos so please, no "where are you coming from by this time" type of questions.

13. If you find yourself between me and the TV, you'd better be crawling and not standing.

14. Quietly serve the food and send sms, we will deal with it later.

Thank you

Funny eh?

My Visit to Ikogosi Warm Springs, Ekiti State

Hello there, it's been a very good couple of weeks and I'm felling as refreshed as I ever have in a very long while. The break from work has done wonders for my mind and body.

During my leave from work, I took a trip to Ekiti State (don't ask me why Ekiti!) and while there, I visited the famed warm water spring in Ikogosi. The trip to the stream's location in Ikogosi town took about three-quarters of an hour from the state capital, Ado-Ekiti; at a point, I felt we weren't going to arrive...

Enough of the stories, below are some of the pictures I took on the trip.

The meeting point

Two trees growing off the same root at the streams' meeting point

The meeting point of the Cold and Warm Spring

The Warm Spring

45 degrees centigrade of crystal clear water

The Warm Spring flowing Downstream

The Source of the Warm Spring

AT the SOURCE of the Warm Spring

Wall built at the warm stream's source

The climb to the Warm Spring's source

Happy Birthday Omonayajo Damilola Tolulope Benedict!

This must be a record of some sort...two posts in one day *smile*.

Well, the purpose of this post has been explained by the title (i hope). Today, the 28th day of May, 2014 is my younger brother's 20th birthday and I'm using this avenue to wish him a HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

A lot of people are surprised when they find out that my brother and I were born on consecutive days of different years, me the 27th of May and him the 28th but it's true and we like things like that.

In conclusion, little brother (well, you ain't that little anymore), I wish you the best of birthdays today...this new year you're starting would be the best year you've known and you shall indeed celebrate many more years on earth.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ONCE AGAIN.

Appreciating everyone on my Birthday

I thought about doing the blanket text/bbm broadcast to appreciate those that wished me a Happy birthday yesterday but then it just seemed ordinary...like something everybody does. So I decided to do this.

Before I go further, I'd love to thank God for taking me through the few years I've spent on earth... I thank my parents and my brother for always being there and putting up with me inspite of my propensity to be naughty at times.

This done, in the rest of this post, I'd be thanking everyone who took time out to text and call me on my birthday. So can call this a thank you post - a sort of appreciation letter.

First up is my best friend, girlfriend and consultant, Ayoade Yetunde. What more can I say? Thank you for Friday, Wednesday, Monday, Saturday and always.

Then I'd thank her mum (Mrs. Ayoade) and sister (Seki) for also taking time out to wish me a happy birthday. I must admit, I was completely caught off guard by your call and I'm saying a really big thank you for the prayers.

Next up is Tommie - yes, Akibo Tomi Morounfoluwa (self styled GARRI-MAYOR)...she sent me a voice note and I thought it was sweet to have someone sing me a birthday song. Of course I responded with a voice note of my own. Thank you Tommie.

I also want to appreciate Mr. Ope Olugasa, the MD of GIT LIMITED. Thank you sir for taking time out of your busy schedule to wish this small town boy a happy birthday.

Not forgetting Adediji Adeyinka, Gabriel Fawehinmi, Mr Adeyemi Salau and Adesanya Tosin. Thanks guys for making me feel loved. I really appreciate the calls and IMs.

A big shoutout goes to Soyemi Seyifunmi and Oduwole Tosin...Thanks for the call, prayers and goodwill messages. May the good Lord repay you in multiple folds.

Azubike Ijeamaka....my "office big sis", thanks for the call, the prayers and overall goodwill.

I also want to thank my former boss And business partner, Mr Fashina Abayomi Taiwo for remembering me on my birthday and taking time out of his busy schedule to give me a call.

A big thank you goes out to Mrs. Inioluwa Odiete, and the members of staff of GIT LIMITED...thanks for remembering me and wishing me well on my birthday. May the Lord bless you all with the same blessings you sowed into my life.

I want to thank my lovely cousin, Afolabi Joy for not forgetting my birthday...even though I'm guilty of forgetting her last 2 birthdays. Don't worry, I won't forget any more.

I also want everybody to thank my 7 year old cousin, Omonayajo Jesutofunmi for actually getting me a birthday gift. It was arguably the only gift I got and I liked it.

Not forgetting my "long time friend", Awolusi Temilade...thanks for taking time out to call me on my birthday. Please note, that deal you proposed won't fly o...you can't collect those three things from me at once, you've got to choose one.

Pidan Oluwafunmike, thanks for the call and messages... but remember what I told you, I'm reducing the quantity of the stuff I promised you as "punishment".

I've also got to thank Oladosu Victor, Oduntan Balogun, Akinremi Dapo and Dada Joseph for not forgetting me on my birthday. And pappy, you'd still tell me what bad dream you had that made you call me professor peller.

A big shoutout goes out to the following people for their IM messages: Adesina Olaitan, Allen Oluwafemi, Michael Lawrence, Osanyin Kehinde, Nnamaka Gilbert, Eyeh Michael, Bassey Christian, Olamijulo Raymond, Keyomah Hope, Olamide, Niyi Idowu, Gbede Babatunde, Oladiji Oladayo, Brimmo Samuel, Mr. Tope Olufiranye and Onasile Anu for their goodwill messages on my birthday.

Just so I'm thorough, I'd also like to thank my banks for their automated messages... Gtbank, EcoBank, Zenith Bank and FCMB.

If you called or texted me and I left out your name, you most likely called the wrong number :D.....thanks all the same. I really appreciate the love, affection and thoughtfulness that y'all have shown.

Gracias.

My first Professional Error

...I've been putting off writing another piece here since I did my last piece of writing for Maya, back in January; but late last week, I decided to start writing again...for like the 1004th time. So, I write today about my first major goof at work. It was humongous - at least from my point of view - it was.

I work in a software firm that's committed to revolutionizing the Nigerian and African Legal Practice and Justice delivery system (yes, I'm advertising....but it's my blog isn't it?) and up until Monday, I'd considered myself a model professional when it comes to official assignments. I love working under pressure...pressure to deliver high-value results. This is why I haven't been all too concerned about my workload which almost quadrupled at the turn of the year.

I was made project lead for a software product with 3 different flavours and in essence, three different code-bases that had to be in sync (as much as possible) feature wise. I'd been burning the candle not only at both ends but I'm pretty sure I must have lit the said candle at not less than 3 points along its length.

Enough with the buildup. Last December, we started informing interested subscribers through weekly emails about latest judgments delivered in Nigeria's Appellate Courts and I took up the project in conjunction with our media and legal teams.

I'd get the summaries of the judgment on Sunday evenings (usually), work on them during the night and get the emails ready to be sent as early as 7:00 am Monday morning. This had gone on successfully for the past 8 weeks until this fateful Monday evening. The judgments had arrived late on Friday evening and while the legal team would have worked on the judgments over the weekend in times past, the company CEO was magnanimous enough to give everyone the weekend off so we could send the newsletter by 7:00 am, Tuesday morning instead.

I got the final draft of the newsletter on Monday evening and by 8:30 pm when I got home, I started working on adding a "blog" module to the Web-Based version of our Electronic Law Reporting & Research Software. The blog would house Tuesday's version of the newsletter and subsequent versions. I started work and worked till small hours of Tuesday morning became increasingly bigger.

By 4:45 am, I couldn't stay awake again and my drowsiness wasn't letting me think or see clearly because I was expecting to see the judgments on our website with dates ranging from 3rd to 7th of March but the most recent date I could see that morning was 28th February. So when I got a call from the newsletter's curator (a colleague from the legal department) around 5:40 am, I just told her I'd need to get to the office later in the morning before sending the newsletter. I ended the call and resumed my "short nap".

Then things got awry! I awoke to the sound of rain... It was 7:45 am Tuesday morning, my windows were open and since it had been raining with winds for like two hours, my room was partially flooded. My first instinct was to pick up my laptop off  the floor. The newsletter was already 90 minutes late, my laptop battery was flat, there was no light (no electricity) and the rain wasn't showing signs of letting up.

I went to the generator house, switched on the small backup generator and tried to knock the newsletter together in record time. My biggest and greatest enemy was the strength and speed of my internet connection as the newsletter had to be designed and edited within a web based application.

At about 9:45 am, after numerous calls from members of management and the legal team wanting to know why the newsletter wasn't sitting in their inbox and where on earth I was, I rushed through the newsletter draft and without a second thought, I hit the "SEND" button.

Exhaling deeply and heaving a sigh of relief, I realized I'd been on my feet since I woke up. I'd composed the newsletter on my balcony placing my laptop on top of an old bookshelf. I switched off the generator (I had switched to the larger one because the smaller one ran out of gasoline) and as I was about to enter the bathroom to take my bath, I realized my first mistake!

Initially, I thought "it isn't that big a mistake, is it?". I'd sent the newsletter to a number of highly influential people on our message list who should have gotten a more comprehensive edition of the newsletter. As I was beating myself up about this and trying to figure out how to solve the problem, my eye caught the date on the newsletter.

Tuesday was 11th of March, 2014; the first line of the newsletter read: Judgments delivered on 27th and 28th March, 2014. The said line should have read: Judgments delivered between 27th February and 7th March, 2014!

I was livid. How could I have missed that??? How could I have sent that??? What was I thinking??? Why did I work late??? What have I done???

In the 3 hours it took me to take a shower, pack my bags, get to work and send a corrected version of the newsletter, I asked myself these questions over and over again...and I decided: That's the last time I'm pulling an all-nighter! I made that decision yesterday evening and even as I type up this blog post, I'm starting to feel that that decision wouldn't last very long.

In the end, I learnt my lesson.

If you're interested in subscribing to the weekly newsletter (with analysis of judgments delivered from Nigeria's Appellate courts), just send me a mail at "dapo.omonayajo[at[gitlimited[dot]com" 

2014's first post

Happy New Year 2014 to everyone reading this (maybe not the Chinese cos I think there's a different "Chinese New Year" which incidentally is the 31st of this month). It's been a fitful past couple of years when it comes to this blog and though I'm not that much into New Year Resolutions and stuff, I'd be making a conscious effort to write and post a bit more this year.

So, I rediscovered the poet in me towards the tail end of last year (2013) - I don't even know why I neglected that part of me for so long - and even though the journey has been a little arduous, I've been able to string some lines together in ways that makes sense to me alone, most times.

Today's poem is something I wrote on my way to "redemption". I did something awfully silly on New Years' day and even though Maya (that's her name) did forgive me [imagine! it's not even a week into the new year yet and I'm about offending people :'( ], I put this together as soon as my silly actions came to light.

I look for words to right my wrong

Oh, that I may even sing a song

And ask the birds to sing along

As I tell of my silly ways

I'd bend my knees on carpets of thorns

Bleed myself with broken horns

Through the darkest alleys I'd turn

To see your smile, bright like the sun

Oh, that I'd hear you laugh

Oh, that I'd see you smile

As down on my knees I go

Repentant of my silly ways...

                - maya

Now, I know it's a bit rough around the edges, but as they say, "Desperate times call for desperate measures".

Maya: I'm still working on that other one (or is it two now?) 

Little poetry here, little poetry there

Hello people,

I'm not sure who I'm greeting because I know fully well that this spot has been dry for a long while but then again, I think I've got good manners :D so, Hello Everyone!!!

A few who care to know (not necessarily for all the right reasons) would probably wonder why's it's taken me so long (over half a dozen months) to write another blog post and I won't begrudge you an answer. LIFE, Work, Laziness, Writers/Bloggers block...take your pick.

Anyways, I've been watching some artsy movies of recent and I got inspired. I don't want to jinx anything so I ain't promising fireworks.

My programming protege - Arike (as she likes to be called)  saw a few lines of a poem I love so much and asked me to write for her. Long story short, I did write something (even though I'm not sure it's FOR her). By the way, she loved it! So here goes:

I broke your heart, countless pieces

wrinkled your soul, countless creases

made you so cold, frozen spinster

devoid of warmth, arctic winter

In bed I lay, with crippled limbs

pushing away, my phantom dreams

my deeds I pray, will haunt me till

out of mercy, you forgive me

#myPoetry