Problem-Casting for Sympathy

I'd been wondering - for a while now - if and when I'd get back to blogging on a more regular basis when I suddenly realized that if wondering was all I did, I'd never publish another blog post, ever again. So I picked up my phone and started to type.

At first, I thought maybe I should just write and publish a paragraph to let people know that I've rediscovered the writer in me - I'm not so sure I knew the writer very well before - but then, as I started to type, I discovered I had a message for someone, no, Everyone out there, myself inclusive. The message is simple: Stop looking for Sympathy!!!

A lot of people these days have developed a common habit which I'm not condemning but have come to be discouraged from practicing. I sign into my twitter and facebook account these days and apart from the usual "confusion" that's common to both networks, I see many tweets and status updates directly and indirectly "Soliciting" sympathy.

There's this saying that goes: A problem shared is a problem half solved. Even as I type this, I see the irony in this quote; if sharing problems brings a half measure of solution whenever it is done, then there are only two things that could happen. First, the butterfly effect of "problemcasting" (that'd be the most appropriate word to describe it) would ensure that there are no problems in the world because the moment you tell someone about your problem, it's meant to reduce into half its former size. The second thing that could happen, were that saying true is that in halving your own problems, you're unavoidably adding the other half of your problems to the portion of those people who have decided to listen to or read your "problemcast".

It doesn't require a first class science degree to realize that none of the scenarios above are being played out in our world today because while everyone still has at least a couple of problems, I also don't get burdened with an extra load of problems after reading or hearing about other people's problems. So one might ask, "From whence cometh the solutions?"

Answering that might require a bit of Religious and other references which will lead me away from the point of this post (I'm sorry if its turning into an epistle already). The questions to ask are HOW and WHY have YOU been Soliciting the Sympathy of others?

HOW: you lose your phone on your way back from work at the end of a day in which your boss placed you on probation for something you can't even remember and what do you do? You manage to strike up a conversation with a co-passenger in the BRT bus and you tell him a little part of what had befallen you. Maybe you're lucky enough to have internet connection at home or you pick your wife's phone, sign into twitter and facebook and then you let your 400 followers and 1123 friends know what a prick your boss has been and how cruel the streets of Lagos are.

How does that solve your problem? If anything, you've made yourself an object of discussion at dinner tables, cybercafes, dorms and any other places where your "friends" and followers might be. Now, I'm not saying you shouldn't tell anyone about what you're going through, all I'm saying is do not broadcast your problems because Nobody, and I repeat: Nobody can understand what you're going through more than yourself.

In spreading the word about your problem (this is WHY you problemcast), you're invariably soliciting sympathy and you'd get it from some people. But what does it do to solve your problem??? In what way does "Aww...sorry" or "eeyahhh...pele" reduce the gravity of your problems? Most of these people would eventually remember your problems while drinking bottles of beer and they'd have a good laugh about you. Where does that leave you and your problem?